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Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 9/10/2009 4:53 PM BST
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Posts: 45
First: 18/5/2009 Last: 9/4/2013 |
Doctors very often seem to have doctors or nurses as partners/spouses. I've been wondering if having a non -medical partner is a distinct advantage in relation to dealing with the long hours/ stress and overwhelm? Or is it a disadvantage being in a relationship with someone who doesn't have a clue what you are talking about and fails to undersatnd the reason for your workload and lack of work-life balance? |
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Re: Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 9/10/2009 5:12 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 441
First: 11/5/2009 Last: 6/7/2012 |
I'm married to a doctor. Doctors are less shockable and being married to a non-doctor would be a disadvantage for me, and I suspect for her, but I'm not sure one can generalise. davebergie
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Re: Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 11/10/2009 11:32 AM BST
on bmj.com
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*Moderator*
Posts: 669
First: 13/3/2009 Last: 14/2/2013 |
Isn't the answer to this question: "Depend who you fall in love with, ideally someone who shares your interests, likes your personality/ sense of humour (if you have one), gets on with most of your friends and family, can tolerate your snoring and other quirky aspects of your behaviour, wants to live in the same part of the world as you..." The list goes on. And that person may or may not be a doctor.
David_Payne
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Re: Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 12/10/2009 11:26 AM BST
on bmj.com
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*Moderator*
Posts: 669
First: 13/3/2009 Last: 14/2/2013 |
Absolutely, Dionysus. Forgive me. I quite agree, as someone who has been lobbying long and hard (and in vain until now) for a canine friend. An apartment-friendly whippet, to be precise. I suppose my point was that you shouldn't limit yourself to looking for a partner in the same occupational group as you, solely on the basis that they may experience a similar kind of stress to you, have the same work-life balance issues, and talk a similar professional language. David_Payne
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Re: Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 12/10/2009 12:00 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 311
First: 3/9/2009 Last: 1/5/2010 |
I agree, David. However, doctors from their student days tend to socialise together. It follows that the chances of marrying another member of the profession are increased. Medicine is not unique in this regard. As to whether or not this is desirable is debatable. It has been argued that a doctor partner will be more perceptive and understanding of the pressures unique to our profession. While personally despite the demands made on my time and family, I find my career rewarding and not generally stressful. However, I accept that some individuals do find this career stressful. I can also see how problems might arise if both partners in a marriage are doctors and both find it stressful. I suppose the best way to assess it is to look at hard statistics. Does anyone know if the separation/divorce rates among medical couples are higher (or, indeed, lower) than the national average?
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Re: Who is best suited to be a doctor's life-partner?
posted at 12/10/2009 2:50 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 1360
First: 25/1/2009 Last: 14/6/2013 |
My partner is a junior doctor like me. Despite living together we dont get to see much of each other - I did long days this weekend, hes on nights next weekend. We are both on call either days or nights 1 in 4 and they seem to line up badly. But when I come home and need to let off steam about a new hospital guideline, poor referral or problematic patient I can waffle away in medical terms and know he understands what the heck I'm on about, and he can give me clinical suggestions that may help. I know many medical friends with non medical partners but I just cant imagine being partnered to anyone other than a doctor DrS
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