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Joke thread! Medically related only please!
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Joke thread! Medically related only please!
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Nothing like a joke thread! I won't ask that you keep the jokes 'clean' - so many good medical ones aren't. But with some relation to medicine, please! So: An old man needed high risk surgery. His so
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Forums » Off duty » General » Joke thread! Medically related only please!

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Forums  »  Off duty  »  General  »  Joke thread! Medically related only please!

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 2:16 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 3059
First: 27/3/2012
Last: 13/6/2013
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!:
A collegue comments on a patient he has seen recently:"The guy had a henia and haemorrhoids reaching his flat feet".
Posted by yoram chaiter

A very good & someway a sarcastic joke! Liked it.

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 2:19 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 3059
First: 27/3/2012
Last: 13/6/2013
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!:
A doctor examines a recruit. "Did you notice you have only one testicle?" The recruit in response:"The football coach said it is O.K...."
Posted by yoram chaiter

A nice humor indeed! I liked it.

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 2:21 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 3059
First: 27/3/2012
Last: 13/6/2013
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!:
A gynecologist comes home after a long day at practice. His wife opens the door. The gynecologist: "Finally, I see a face....."
Posted by yoram chaiter

A sensible humor based on reality! Liked it.

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 2:23 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 3059
First: 27/3/2012
Last: 13/6/2013
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!:
."Hello, is this geriatric nursing ward?" " Not yet...." 
Posted by yoram chaiter

A sensible humor again! Thanks a lot!

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 2:28 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 3059
First: 27/3/2012
Last: 13/6/2013
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!:
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, “Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps.” The second old man says, “You think you have problems. I’m eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps.”  Finally the third old man speaks up, “Fellas: I’m ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up.”
Posted by drrathore

Many thanks for an excellent joke! This is what is expected from a joke, exposure of a serious fact of our day to day life in a comedy style, the best example being Charlie Chaplin!

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 5:03 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 1828
First: 7/3/2009
Last: 18/6/2013
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 5:05 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 1828
First: 7/3/2009
Last: 18/6/2013
A very old one:

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 5:16 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 1828
First: 7/3/2009
Last: 18/6/2013
What are the aspirations of a medical student? To finish medschool.

What are the aspirations of a young doctor? To become a specialist.

What are the aspirations of a young specialist? To become a senior and ultimately become head of ward.
What are the aspirations af the head of ward? To become a full professor.

What are the aspirations of a professor? To have a bowel movement every day........
.

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 5:18 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 1828
First: 7/3/2009
Last: 18/6/2013
Four stages of dementia:
1. Forgot the name of his wife.
2. Forgot the name of the lover
3. Forgot why he came to this lover and what he intended to do with her.
4. Forgot to take down his pants and underwear in the toilet. 

Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!

posted at 13/5/2012 7:08 PM BST on bmj.com
Posts: 1012
First: 15/7/2011
Last: 15/6/2013
This is a very old joke and I havent checked if its here already but here goes:

Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither driver is hurt. It's impossible to assess blame for the accident on either.
They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone; they'll be there in 20 minutes.
It's cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, takes a long drink and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink?", the doctor wonders.
"After the police get here.", replies the lawyer.
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