Joke thread! Medically related only please!
False
General
Joke thread! Medically related only please!
Discuss non-medical topics
Nothing like a joke thread! I won't ask that you keep the jokes 'clean' - so many good medical ones aren't. But with some relation to medicine, please! So: An old man needed high risk surgery. His so
10
Cat:OffDutyForum:General
Cat:OffDutyForum:GeneralDiscussion:f9ed354e-6604-4cb8-9f65-ae0ad54a0205
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 13/5/2012 7:38 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
Posts: 3037
First: 27/3/2012 Last: 18/5/2013 |
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!: Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye? Posted by yoram chaiter An excellent joke Dr.Yoam! Liked it. |
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 13/5/2012 7:39 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 3037
First: 27/3/2012 Last: 18/5/2013 |
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!: A very old one: Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. Posted by yoram chaiter A good sense of humor Dr. Yoram! |
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 13/5/2012 7:42 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 3037
First: 27/3/2012 Last: 18/5/2013 |
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!: What are the aspirations of a medical student? To finish medschool. What are the aspirations of a young doctor? To become a specialist. What are the aspirations of a young specialist? To become a senior and ultimately become head of ward. What are the aspirations af the head of ward? To become a full professor. What are the aspirations of a professor? To have a bowel movement every day........ . Posted by yoram chaiter An excellent humor sense Dr. Yoram! |
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 13/5/2012 7:44 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 3037
First: 27/3/2012 Last: 18/5/2013 |
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!: Four stages of dementia: 1. Forgot the name of his wife. 2. Forgot the name of the lover 3. Forgot why he came to this lover and what he intended to do with her. 4. Forgot to take down his pants and underwear in the toilet. Posted by yoram chaiter I liked it. An excellent piece of joke |
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 13/5/2012 7:47 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 3037
First: 27/3/2012 Last: 18/5/2013 |
In Response to Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!: This is a very old joke and I havent checked if its here already but here goes: Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither driver is hurt. It's impossible to assess blame for the accident on either. They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone; they'll be there in 20 minutes. It's cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, takes a long drink and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink?", the doctor wonders. " After the police get here.", replies the lawyer. Posted by kirked I liked it. An excellent piece of humor ! |
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 15/5/2012 3:12 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
Posts: 1784
First: 7/3/2009 Last: 18/5/2013 |
A patient with migraine mixed up the practices and came to a neurosurgeon instead of neurologist. The patient: Doctor, I have a terrible migraine. The neurosurgeon: Lets cut it out....
|
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 15/5/2012 3:17 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 1784
First: 7/3/2009 Last: 18/5/2013 |
What are the differences between an internist, neurologist , surgeon and pathologist? An internist knows little and does little.A neurologist knows a lot, but doesn't do much. A surgeon knows little , but does everything. A pathologist knows a lot, but its too late.
|
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 15/5/2012 8:33 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 1784
First: 7/3/2009 Last: 18/5/2013 |
A fourth year group of students is tutored by a cardiologist. One of the students is asked to listen to a patients' heart with a stetoscope. Tutor: What do you hear? Student: I hear a crescendo- decrescendo murmur, diamond shaped... Tutor: And I see pigs flying out in the skies.......
|
|
|
Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 15/5/2012 8:39 PM BST
on bmj.com
|
|
Posts: 1784
First: 7/3/2009 Last: 18/5/2013 |
A patient comes to a doctor complaining about joint pain. The doctor prescribes suppositories. The patient comes again after two weeks. Doctor: So how are you? Did the medication help you? Patient: No, doctor. Nothing happened. Doctor: Did you take your medication regularly? Patient: Doctor, I have taken the damn things three times a day. Morning, afternoon and evening I have been swallowing the damn things, but they don't help.......
|
