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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 16/5/2012 6:16 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 1789
First: 7/3/2009 Last: 23/5/2013 |
DrS, a naughty joke... By the way I do recall a true story in one of the hospitrals here where a paediatrician was calling in mothers with babies and was sucking their nipples. One of the mothers compained he told her he was doing it in order to know whether she had milk and she could breast feed... Well, he was thrown out of hospital and as much as I know he lost his medical license and was charged. What happened with the sentence I don't know...So here you have it- although yours is a joke, there were actual stories in the same mould..
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 16/5/2012 8:00 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 1350
First: 25/1/2009 Last: 24/5/2013 |
A patient goes to see his GP as he has terrible back pain. He has tried lots of different pain killers so far but the GP recommends a powerful suppository. After a lot of pursuading the man agrees and the doctor administers the first suppository and advises him that if his back is still painful in 8 hours he should take the second, but that it needs to be pushed a long way up so he may need to ask his wife for help... Later that evening and when in a lot of pain once more he asks his wife to assist him in administration of the second suppository, she places once hand on his shoulder and with the other pushes in the suppository. As she does the patient starts swearing and cursing. "I'm sorry, did that hurt?" she asks, "No", he replies, "But I've just realised that when the doctor gave me the 1st suppository he had both hands on my shoulders!" |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 16/5/2012 11:37 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 2059
First: 12/3/2010 Last: 23/5/2013 |
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum." |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 17/5/2012 5:19 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 2
First: 17/5/2012 Last: 20/6/2012 |
A psychiatrist evaluates 3 of his patients before he decides to discharge them. To do this, he draws a car on the wall and asks all three of them to push the car until it starts. The first two promptly start pushing while the third person stands there laughing at them. The psychiatrist then asks him why he is laughing at his colleagues and he replied: "Doctor, don't mind them, I have the key to that car with me here in my pocket!" |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 22/5/2012 10:02 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 61
First: 7/11/2009 Last: 22/5/2012 |
Difference of opinion as to whether the abdominal lump of the patient is intra peritoneal or retroperitoneal during an examination. The examiner asks the candidate "Go back and examine in knee elbow position." The candidate disappears behind the screen. Concerned about the long duration of the repeat examination the examiner decides to inspect the proceedings. On the bed lay the patient in supine position. The candidate was seen palpating the abdomen while standing on his knees and elbow! |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 30/5/2012 6:50 AM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 1350
First: 25/1/2009 Last: 24/5/2013 |
A motor mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a BMW M3 The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take
The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on the car. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 4/6/2012 8:15 PM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 2059
First: 12/3/2010 Last: 23/5/2013 |
Thanks to ny friend Dr.Bob, who normally sends completely unrepeatable jokes! Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist's shop. Jack suggests they go in. Jack addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds " Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jack: "How about suppositories?" Pharmacist: "You bet!" Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely.." Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?" Pharmacist: "We sure do..." Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?" Pharmacist: "Sure." Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..." |
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Re: Joke thread! Medically related only please!
posted at 19/8/2012 11:06 AM BST
on bmj.com
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Posts: 154
First: 29/11/2010 Last: 19/5/2013 |
A 90 year old man visited the doctor for the routine checkup.The following week, the doctor bumped in to the man walking along the high street with a flashy woman on his arm. "I did as you suggested",laughed the man."Get a hot mamma and be cheerful". "NO ,NO", said the doctor horrified.I said, "you have got a heart murmur.Be careful". Source: Sharpe, J., 2002, The massive adult joke book, Capella, United Kingdom
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