I'm not really sure how to start this entry, I've worked myself into one big emotional mess and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

This morning, I found out a good friend of mine (also a medical student), their mum has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and they found out last Saturday (I'm carefully trying to keep this completely anonymouse). The cancer has spread to her bladder and from what I can figure out from the few details my friend could bear to share, it's Stage 4.

Then, I did a really stupid thing. Rather than just being there for my friend, I looked it up. I really, really, sincerely hope that my friend hasn't done the same thing. The prognosis is really poor. I just feel awful for my friend. My friend is truly one of the most lovely and genuine people I know and what upset me a great deal was to see them so upset; the usual humour and fabulous personality completely gone.

I felt completely useless. I did the usual "if you need anything, I'm here" talk, I tried to let my friend know that I was thinking about them and their family...but other than that I feel completely helpless. I also feel really angry. My friend is going to be a doctor, an amazing doctor and yet we can't help our own loved ones.