When I was in my early teens, I knew 2 youngsters who played seriously with the idea of suicide. They both told me how infinitesimally insignificant, how immensely unwanted and small they were made to feel. It reminded me about the phrase “A weed is nothing but an unloved flower”. Because I happened to stumble across them and their circumstances unprepared, their sorrow left a great impact on my life and I felt deeply wounded by how they saw themselves, how it affected those around them because of what happened to them as teens in school. I wished I could do more but being a kid myself, I really didn’t know how to heal their pain. I never really found a private way to recover until in the recent past when the idea of writing about them gave me great release.

 I would like to dedicate this poem to the two teenagers I once knew, who despite their tragic circumstances and youth, have now made it to the other side. The better side, and are both outrageously successful today.

“A Weed is Nothing but an Unloved Flower”

She stands among the others,

On the same moist ground.

She suppresses a cold shudder,

Followed by a frown.

The rest call her “weed”,

Even though she was a flower.

An unloved one indeed,

Frightful of the mower.

She did not choose to be here,

But alas she had no choice!

Dooms day was coming near,

Which was far from rejoice.

Tomorrow the gardener will come,

And snatch my body away.

I’ll no longer be on the run,

Just to be able to see another day.

I may have toyed with many a way,

Of ending my unfathomable sorrow.

But somehow I wanted to see that very day,

Where my courage they would kill to borrow.

The gardener has spotted me,

For I was like the thorn among the roses.

Even though I grew for free,

He threw my tiny body in a sack near the hoses.

I’d like to think that it was fate,

That had me fall across the fence from that sack.

For I was picked up and loved to a depth that was truly great,

Nurtured in a terracotta pot at the very top of a rack!

I am glad to have stood my ground,

Even if I were once made to regret it….

Looking back it makes me feel proud,

For not truly surrendering my soul even a little bit!

I am happy beyond words,

For God has helped me rise.

Now I am stronger than a million swords,

Like a flower in paradise.

***

I have been bitter about bullies for a long time. I adopted a zero tolerance policy for them and absolutely abhorred what they did to these juniors in school. I was lucky to be in a class that was predominantly composed of sound individuals, most of whom are, quite interestingly, on their way to becoming doctors now. I may have been blessed that way but in other ways, I have never acquired the ability to handle or to understand what one goes through in their most desperate hour; how one even reaches a point where they no longer wish to continue. Where that seems like the answer; the ultimate cure to a seemingly bottomless pain.

Now that I have grown a bit, I recognize that although the bullied need all the help they can get, the bullies themselves require equal attention. Retrospectively, I have come to realize that the ones with the worst behaviors were the ones with the most damaged backgrounds. And they are the ones who’ve missed out on their opportunities and potential now, as adults out there in the real world.

I believe that if these traits are recognized early on, by teachers, counselors, parents and yes, doctors, we can save a lot of kids.  We must adopt ways to help rescue both the perpetrators and their victims, from losing out on life. This could be considered as an early form of public health promotion.

NOTE: this blog has been submitted eons ago. The author is currently
unavailable to comment because she is busy fine tuning her (here’s
hoping) kung fu grip for the final showdown that is her final MDs! The
author welcomes your comments but will not be able to reply for the
said reason etc.  She might return after she recovers from the post MD
burn out. No promises as to when that time might be, but patience is
key. She’s really excited about the prospect of becoming an intern
which encompasses tasks like paperwork, prepping for residencies, more
paperwork, fetching the occasional coffee for the residents, some more
paperwork and of course, assisting in the saving of lives!