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Should Doctors Marry Doctors?

"Marriage is a social institution. Crap! Can I start again? Well if you want me to define, it's basically a huge compromise that one person does for the other. As a future doctor and If I may say so all doctors get into weird relationships, knowing that the other can't give that much time for the other. I would never marry a doctor. Who will look after the kids?"

"I don't want to marry a doctor. It's going to be absolutely boring! I don't want to bring stories of malaria and HIV in the dining table. Basically I want to increase my outreach of life. I want variety and I want someone who can speak in non-medical terms. I want normalcy! "

"Before I entered med school I always thought that I would get married to a doctor but now I have a different perspective. Being a med student I realized that I don't like med students and I don't like doctors. No offence to anyone but it's my personal opinion but most of them seem to be cold at heart"

"I absolutely don't want to marry someone who can't understand me. I might have night calls at 2AM in the night. Can a non medical person understand this? And I will have a hectic schedule, how can one manage such a life with me if that other person is not a doctor?"

"I like things that are absolutely contra indicatory to me. For this instance, I met this guy, who was completely opposite to me. He spoke stuff that I could not comprehend .But it seems that I do like this guy .I respect his profession and his dedication to his work and I think that he will do the same for me. So if you add mutual respect and love for each other then it would make the perfect relationship, No matter what! I don't want to marry a profession. I want love and if you are reading this, let's go on a date the next time we are in the same country!?"

"I would marry a doctor! Why? She would be my perfect soul mate. Will I sense competition between us? I might, If my spouse earns more money than me, then I could go into an inferiority complex but that's life. How many men can you actually find who claim to be superior to their wife?"

"I am more business minded; I want to marry a doctor. I will refer patients to her and she would do the same for me. We will never go into an economic crisis in our life! "

I actually had fun interviewing my friends today. Almost all of them seem confused but let's all remember that love is blind and you never know what happens in life !

Happy Relationships people!

Tags: Doctorsmedstudentsmarriage
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Pat Lush wrote:
My advice is look hard and long,it's one of the most important decisions you make, then probably marry a good Doctor.
12/2/2012 6:52 PM GMT on bmj.com
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ajacob wrote:
A doctor marrying a doctor means less time for private life -interrupted and irregular sex life -sometimes (but not always) miserable kids
14/2/2012 12:38 PM GMT on bmj.com
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skyesteve wrote:
You should marry (if you want to get married) someone you love unconditionally who loves you unconditionally in return.
14/2/2012 7:11 PM GMT on bmj.com
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David.Jones wrote:
I've been married for 17 months and I'm still at medical school. Other students and doctors say "how could you do that?" But they are overlooking the huge plus points of being a married med student: I have another person supporting and helping me in life. Things that would take me ages to do now take half as long to complete - two pairs of hands make light work of a lot of things. Also I am rarely lonely (something I used to struggle with as do many other med students I have spoken with). I also have a sensible person to tell me to stop freaking out when I'm convinced I going to fail my exams! My wife even helps me revise and is my fake patient for OSCE revision! But, Sarina when you speak about understanding one another in marriage I've got to be honest: No matter how perfect you are, or how perfect your future husband will be, there will be times when you annoy eachother, misunderstand eachother, or are unsympathetic or unloving to eachother. Why? Because at our core all of us a a bit selfish. My advice is to marry someone who is quick to forgive you and who you are equally quick to forgive. Someone who loves you but doesn't expect you to be perfect, and who is humble enough to know that they also aren't perfect. At the heart of a good marriage is forgiveness.
14/2/2012 7:14 PM GMT on bmj.com
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Sarina_Med wrote:
Thanks David for your insightful views on this topic.
15/2/2012 3:59 AM GMT on bmj.com
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rmtracey wrote:
i married a doctor because she was the first female i met that was willing to tell me exactly what she thought of me (not much) . as a very busy surgeon. out every night, and home late. weekends did not exist. i spent more time worrying about my patients than my long suffering wife and children. but as a doctor, while she did not like it, she understood (to a degree). no other woman would have even partially understood let alone put up with it. so, yes marry another doctor. no one else can begin to understand the pressures and the committment, and the fact that your patients come before you and (bitterly) your family. but still after 50 yrs of an often acrimonious acceptance , i still receive a valentines card on every valentine's day. and two of my children , also drs. are married to drs. o one else
15/2/2012 8:59 AM GMT on bmj.com
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Momina wrote:
aaah i reckon the same....i don't fancy marrying a doctor n i myself am a student of medical lol...
i would go for a business man or stuff that way...i dont know what life brings to you buttt all i want is NOT a boring headed life all way being compromised,though would be, with a doctor...
i dont know this reality but GOD please make my partner a healthily a VERSATILE hubby....
15/2/2012 5:27 PM GMT on bmj.com
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drbhargava wrote:
I don't have to tell you that doctors are not considered the best of better halves. If that is news to you my friend, wait till you hear this. An article appeared in the BMJ Career Focus in 2006 by Karen Hebert. It deals with the ease and the hassles of marriage within the profession. Some of the better halves of delegates attending the Asia Pacific Conference on Infection at Khajuraho, India participated in a debate on 'should doctors marry doctors'. This was also the subject of our college debate when I was an intern. Surprisingly, thirty plus years later, the medical students were discussing the same thing once again last year. Apparently the controversy or otherwise just refuses to die down or come to rest . I was for doctors marrying doctors , not because I considered them more compatible, but I was convinced that the medicos were a breed apart who could be tolerated only among their own, and this appeared the surest way to decimate the offensive gene. You think I am being acutely harsh. Here this. I happened to be in conversation with the non-medical wife of one our very eminent professors. I simply asked her how it felt to be married to a doctor, hinting at his eminence. She took my question at face value and retorted that it was the least desirable. Doctors are the most unsocial and unclubbable lot as far as ordinary human beings are concerned. They are incapable of any worthwhile discussion or deliberation without bringing up someone's appendix or someone else's prostate. Even their jokes are all awry and they have a warped sense of humour. I put this question to my college staff attending the debate, whether given the option would they commit the same mistake again of marrying a doctor, and guess what, I was greeted with a stunned silence. So are medical marriages any different or just part of the statistics? Is this all a spooky bogey of my making? According to the article by Karen I have just quoted, there is no real difference in divorce rates in medical marriages but there is also evidence that while the marriages are stable, many spouses are chronically unhappy. Want some more, evidence that is?
16/2/2012 3:46 PM GMT on bmj.com
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mesa wrote:
Marriage is physical attraction and emotional bond. You just can't decide whom to marry. One day you may find a man down the lane and just agree to marry him. You don't know why. Most planned marriages go bust in a few years. Happy marriage is compromise and nothing else. You have to share your feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas, likes/dislikes, eating habits, clothing, professional ideas etc..... Don't have fixed ideas about marriage.
19/2/2012 2:11 PM GMT on bmj.com
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doki wrote:
well iam amedical student and it is my last year,i think its better to marry with adoctor becaz any way can understand eachother better
19/2/2012 8:37 PM GMT on bmj.com
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